7 Etiquette Tips For Heirloom Engagement Rings


Planning to pop the question with an heirloom engagement ring may be trickier than you think. Not only do you have to ask someone to hand over a piece of beloved jewellery, you also have to follow a certain amount of etiquette when it comes to resetting.


Here are a couple of golden rules for you to follow.


  1. Ask both sides of the family.


A family heirloom ring can come from either your side of the family or your partner’s side. If you’re having a tough time deciding which side of the family the ring ought to come from, the best thing to do is not over think it.  If you find there are several rings to choose from, pick one based on family tradition or history. If there isn’t a ring, you can take a look at an array of antique and vintage style engagement rings at Kalmar Antiques.


  1. Know the history of the ring.


Do your best to learn about the history behind the ring before you even ask if you may have it. Knowing who it first belonged to or how it came into the family makes the proposal even more magical. Also, find out which part of the ring is the most special to the family, such as the diamond or the band. This will help for resetting purposes.


  1. Don’t assume they’ll give you the ring.


Just because you do want to propose with an heirloom engagement ring, doesn’t mean it automatically becomes yours. Be sure to ask permission for the ring to be passed down. Meet with the family and let them know how important the ring is to you and to your beloved partner.


  1. Don’t pressure the family for the ring.


Don’t pressure the family to hand the heirloom ring over to you. Keep in mind that the ring has probably been in the family for a long time, so the decision to pass it over may take some time.


  1. Get the ring cleaned and checked.


Once you have permission to use the ring, have it cleaned and properly checked for loose or missing stones.


  1. Ask before making changes.


Many people, upon receiving an heirloom ring, want to have it altered or reset, which can change the look of the ring completely. It’s a touchy subject for the owner of the ring, so follow etiquette and ask before making alterations. It’s easy enough to avoid hard feelings by having the conversation, just be honest about what you want to change or adjust.


  1. Remember to say thank you!


Receiving a family heirloom engagement ring is a rather grand gesture. So, remember to let the family know just how grateful you are. Write a formal thank you note or present them with a token of your appreciation for making your proposal more meaningful.



Follow these etiquette tips and your proposal is sure to be special, and the ring treasured for even more generations to come.


I'm a mother of 2 who likes to get involved in too much! Besides writing here I started a non-profit, I'm on the PTO board, very active in my community and volunteer in the school. I enjoy music, reading, cooking, traveling and spending time with my family. We just adopted our 3rd cat and love them all!

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