Financial Security in Relationships

This is a guest post.Getting_Finances_Right

 

 

 

Relationships, as most people realize, can have their ups and downs. Yet it often seems that the “downs” increase with financial uncertainty: money – or rather the lack thereof – can be a major point of contention in even the most concrete of relationships.

 

The Attractiveness of Financial Security

Marrying for money has long been looked down on by society. However, marrying someone for their bank account is a world apart from being attracted to someone because of their financial security. A person who has financial security demonstrates that they’re responsible, hard-working, and cognizant of the future. These are all qualities that are attractive to the average person. Having financial security also removes a stressor – and a major one at that – from your marriage or partnership, while allowing qualifications for must-haves: a home, a car, a nest egg for a rainy day.

 

Merging Your Finances Together

Even if two people who are both financially responsible marry, there are some things that they must be aware of prior to merging their finances together as one. It’s important to keep in mind that after you’ve married, your portfolios do as well. This means that anytime you apply for a loan, try to get a credit card, or visit the bank, the income, credit score, investments, and financial habits of your spouse will also be considered. This can either hurt you or help you.

 

Advantages to Shared Finances

Some couples absolutely refuse to share money, opting instead to have separate bank accounts instead. While this may work for them, there are benefits to shared accounts. For example, separate pools of money can be highly difficult to manage when children are involved. They can also present difficulties when it comes to paying joint expenses, such as the mortgage, groceries, home needs, and utilities.

 

Another benefit to merging finances is that it limits a person’s ability to splurge, at least if there’s an agreement between the married couple that states big expenses must be discussed beforehand. A joint account can also make people more likely to stick to a budget and manage their money efficiently. If this becomes overwhelming, a wealth management company can always help make things easier.

 

The final benefit to sharing your money – at least compared to those who don’t share it – may be a happier marriage. According to the NY Post, a 2013 study found that people who pooled 80 percent of their salaries were happier than those who pooled 70 percent. People who pooled 95 to 100 percent were the most happiest. The reasons for this may vary. Sometimes, it’s an issue of trust with those who share money believing their spouse trusts and respects them more than those who don’t. Other times it’s simply about having nothing to hide.

 

The biggest reason appears to be that those who don’t share money tend to argue about it more. They not only argue about what each individual is doing with their money, but they also fight about wage and salary inequality and accusations from one to the other about not carrying their weight. This doesn’t mean that every married person in the world should share money, but pooling it, at least for some people, may give you one less thing to worry about.

Anne

I'm a mother of 2 who likes to get involved in too much! Besides writing here I started a non-profit, I'm on the PTO board, very active in my community and volunteer in the school. I enjoy music, reading, cooking, traveling and spending time with my family. We just adopted our 3rd cat and love them all!

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Comments

  1. I agree that merging the finances makes a big difference. When you try to keep “his” and “hers”, there’s usually some underlying issue.

  2. Communication is such an important thing when it comes to finances, I agree with merging.

  3. My husband and I have been together for over 23 years and have always had our finances merged until about 3 years ago. I wanted to have my own account in my name… my husband is fine with that and it works well. So we have our joint account, joint savings, and then I have my own.

  4. When I was married, we had merged finances. It worked perfectly, but I wouldn’t do it again. I like being independent.

  5. We’ve merged one account but kept the other accounts separate as it’s just too complicated.

  6. I couldn’t imagine not having our finances merged. But then again my husband and I are very like minded when it comes to how to spend and save money so there aren’t ever any arguments about it.

  7. We kept our finances seperate for a little while and then realized how much better is was to merge them. Now its like second nature.

  8. Kathleen says:

    I know a lot of people like the idea of sharing finances in a relationship, but I am a big fan of keeping them separate, at least that is what works for me.

  9. This is such a great post for young couples to read and know how important financial stability is for both you and your possible partner.

  10. We have merged personal and business accounts. It works for us.

  11. This is so important, I would have to trust him alot.

  12. I’ve been single so long, the thought of sharing finances is scary. There would have to be absolute trust in my partner to have joint accounts of any kind.

  13. My husband and I have shared finances since the beginning of our relationship and it has always worked quite well. I do have a few friends who have separate accounts from their spouse and always find it a little odd. A marriage is a mutual partnership and for us that includes money.

  14. This is a great list of points to keep in mind. Finances is one of the top reasons why couples fight, so these tips are something that couples should heed.