4 Things You Should Know When Helping a Loved One Through an Addiction

Loving someone with an addiction isn’t easy. You want to help them heal, but the road to recovery is long and full of obstacles. You don’t love them any less, but caring for them can cause you great pain. 

If someone in your life, whether it’s your spouse, a friend, a son or daughter, is struggling with addiction, here are four things you should know when helping them.

 

 

1. You Can’t Do Everything 

You can play an important role in someone’s recovery, but you can’t do everything.

At the end of the day, you can’t make someone quit an addiction.  

Accepting this lack of control is difficult. When you love someone, all you want is to be able to make their suffering go away. But recovery is hard work, and ultimately it’s up to your addicted loved one to put in that work, not you.  

Even well-equipped addiction treatment programs don’t claim to be guaranteed cures. For example, SOBA College Recovery has a team of great staff in New Jersey that includes addiction specialists, psychologists, nutritionists, personal trainers, and more. But even with all of this support, it’s still up to the addict to make the effort to heal.  

2. Education is Powerful  

Addiction is a disease and has been studied and researched just like any other illness. That means that there are many educational resources available that can help you better understand your loved one’s problem.  

Learn about the specific substance being abused so that you can know what kind of behavior you can expect. This type of research can be scary, but arming yourself with information is one of the best things you can do to help your loved one and yourself.  

Without understanding how addiction affects the brain, you’re more likely to act on emotion alone. And it’s ok to feel frustrated when an addict relapses or pity them when they ask for money, but knowing the reason behind their actions will help you react to situations more calmly and rationally.  

3. Relapse Does Not Mean Failure 

A wrong turn doesn’t end the journey. Success is difficult to measure in the world of addiction, but relapse does not mean failure. Instead of feeling defeated, help your loved one resume their treatment, modify it, or try something new entirely.  

It’s estimated that between 40% and 60% of people who are treated for substance abuse disorders will relapse, so you have to be prepared for that possibility. There are ways you can help prevent relapse – just reaching out to a person to talk or go for a run every now and then can have a huge impact.  

It can be easy to feel like you’re responsible for a loved one’s relapse – you may think that if you had just done something differently, maybe they wouldn’t have started using again. But the truth is, relapse is a normal part of the recovery process and not something you should ever blame yourself for.

 4. It’s Ok to Take Care of Yourself  

If you only remember one thing from this list, remember to take care of yourself. Your mental health is important too.  

Addiction is a heartbreaking disease that can leave you feeling frustrated, stressed, and alone. You’re constantly on edge, worried not only for their safety but for your own as well. But you shouldn’t have to lose yourself in someone else’s addiction – you can love them while still loving yourself.  

Seek professional counseling, join support groups, and set aside time for yourself. Set boundaries, and remember the three C’s of addiction – cause, control, and cure. You did not cause their addiction, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. You are not selfish. You are strong, you are brave.  

By taking care of your own mental health, you’ll be better equipped to care for those you love. Addiction is a monstrous disease, but you and your loved one can get through it together.

 

Anne

I'm a mother of 2 who likes to get involved in too much! Besides writing here I started a non-profit, I'm on the PTO board, very active in my community and volunteer in the school. I enjoy music, reading, cooking, traveling and spending time with my family. We just adopted our 3rd cat and love them all!

More Posts

Juggling School, Home, Work and Family

As a mom, whether you work, stay at home, work at home, or some other combination, life is tough. You’re always on the go. Thinking about your kids and making plans even when you’re not together. You’re cooking, cleaning, organizing, making appointments, getting to them, preparing pack lunches, running around on school runs and sometimes, trying to fit in a little bit of adult time with your partner or doing something for yourself. It’s hard work. But, many of us are deciding to add even more.

 

Now more moms than ever before are choosing to go back to work, parents returning to school is also becoming more popular. Taking a course can help you to find a career in a more flexible sector or give you the knowledge that you need to start up on your own. Some moms, looking to return to work, after what might have been a long break, find that education gives them the knowledge and confidence that they need to thrust themselves back into things.

 

While education is excellent, and returning to school certainly has many advantages for moms, how do you juggle it all? You might find yourself working, studying and being your children’s primary carer, all at the same time. Even without a job, it would at times feel almost impossible. Here are some tips to help you.

 

 

Photo Credit

 

Involve the Kids

Kids often behave better, and give you some time to focus, if they feel part of what is going on. So, involve them. Tell them about your course. If it’s something like an education ma, they might even be able to help you. Or, you could study while they are doing their homework so that you are all working together.

 

Stick to a Routine

Getting into a routine will help you to keep on top of everything, give your kids more security and help you to focus on work. Try to work at the same times every day, keep your job hours the same, and have set times where you can just be with the kids.

 

Get Organized

If you want to do it all and do it well, you need to get organized. Make yourself daily to-do lists and write absolutely everything in a diary or an online calendar. Make lunches the night before, get everyone’s clothes out ready for the next day before bed, and do as much as you can in the evenings to make your mornings run more smoothly, this will help start your day right.

 

Give Yourself Time Off

When you’ve got so much to do, taking time off might seem impossible. But, you need to. Take the odd evening off, and full days when you can. You should even take a week to go away. Doing this will help you to relax and recharge, meaning you’ll be much better at getting everything done when you go back to work.

 

Ask for Help

Remember, there’s always someone that can help, you usually just have to ask. Ask if a relative can pick the kids up from school one day or get your partner to do bedtimes and help out at home more. If you can afford it, you could even find childcare or a cleaner for a few hours a week.

 

Anne

I'm a mother of 2 who likes to get involved in too much! Besides writing here I started a non-profit, I'm on the PTO board, very active in my community and volunteer in the school. I enjoy music, reading, cooking, traveling and spending time with my family. We just adopted our 3rd cat and love them all!

More Posts

Family Game Nights are Better with Blue Orange Games! (Review and Giveaway)

About Blue Orange Games:

At Blue Orange Games, we have been publishing and promoting award-winning games for over 18 years.

We prioritize quality and durability, and pledge to make games that will stand the test of time.

We make sure each and every game is easy to learn, fun to play, and engaging for all- it’s our not-so-secret formula to success!

Many of our games help children build important skills such as dexterity, memory, math, logic, and cooperation.

We pride ourselves in helping people unplug and bond for hours of good old fashion fun.

As a company dedicated to growing with families, we are confident there is a little something for everyone in our catalog.

We are strong advocates of the value of play and would like to thank all the retailers and players around the world who support our games and help to make play an everyday reality.

In addition to the 200+ awards our products have received, Blue Orange Games has won three prestigious industry awards:

• 2012 ASTRA Excellence Award

– Vendor of the Year

• 2011 Toy Collection Award

– Vendor of the Year

• 2011 Learning Express Award

– Best Store Support Vendor Award

The first thing I noticed about Blue Orange Games is that they have really cool and fun looking games. Totally different than the usually department store game selection. I couldn’t wait to get the games and play them with my two children.

The first game I played with my children was Pool Party.  What a perfect game for the hot summer weather we are having here in Florida! The box is colorful and fun, my kids couldn’t wait to open and play!

Pool Party ($21.99)

Ages 6 and UP
2-4 Players
 Summer is here, and so is pool party season! It’s time to beat the heat and cool off in the topsy-turvy pool. Better yet, join in on the cannon ball contest and form a team with your fellow party-goers. But watch out! Too many swimmers and this wacky pool can easily spill over, tossing you and everyone else out. Make big splashes by propelling your teammates into the unsteady pool, and be the first to successfully land 3 divers in to win! Unique components and high energy gameplay will make Pool Party your family’s new favorite.

This game is so much fun! My kids and I had a blast trying to get out swimmers in the pool! My kids said they could play this forever. It was the perfect game for my 7 year old who usually gets upset when he doesn’t win or doesn’t understand how to play.

The second game we played is called Maki StackMy daughter loves sushi, so when she saw the box she automatically wanted to play it right away.

Maki Stack ($27.99)

Ages 7 and UP
2-6 Players

Order’s up- it’s time for a sushi showdown! Put on your mask and grab your teammate, or prepare to use your fingers as chopsticks. Balance and arrange the sushi, plates, and soy sauce bottles, and make sure to execute the order exactly as shown on the card. But be careful, one wrong move and everything might tumble over! Race a friend or challenge as a team in this sushi stacking extravaganza. High-quality wooden pieces and crazy stacking combinations make Maki Stack perfect for a game night full of fun and laughs.

This game is so much fun! My daughter loved where you have to use a blindfold to stack the pieces. We both had so much fun playing this game.

 

The third game is called Who did it? If you have a child that loves emojis, especially the “poop” emoji, they will love this game.

Who did it? 

Ages 6 and UP
3-6 Players

In this hilarious card game, players race to get rid of their cards so they can avoid the blame of owning the animal that pooped. Each game is as funny as it is fast; quickly find your card, be the first to throw it down, and then blame someone else! Was it YOUR cat that pooped in the living room? Because it wasn’t my fish!

Break it out at the next family game night, social gathering, or cocktail party. Who Did It? is sure to bring laughs and just the right amount of potty humor. Plus the cute, plushy zippered pouch keeps all the cards and tokens safe, and is the perfect size for on-the-go fun.

This game had all of us lagging the whole time! A simple yet fun card game that was all about Poop!! So fun!

Last but not least….my absolute favorite out of all of them, Shaky Manor!!

Shaky Manor ($25.99)

Ages 7 and UP
2-4 Players

Local legend says the house on the corner contains hidden treasures… you find yourself taking a chance and entering to strike it rich, but it isn’t that easy to keep the treasures safe from the creatures that haunt the dusty rooms!

In this game, race to position your Meeple Player and 2 Treasure Chests into the room indicated on the Challenge Card by shaking and tilting your box. Each time you succeed in keeping the treasure safe, you win the card as a point and the player to your right adds a new spooky creature into your box to make the next round harder!

I love how you can start playing this game before opening the box! Start tilting!  Two of the rooms are together with the play pieces, so you can see through the box and start playing. This game was so much fun, I love games of skill and logic. My 9-year-old had a blast playing this as well did I!

 

I was super impressed with these awesome games from Blue Orange! These games would be a great addition to your family game nights. They would also make fabulous gifts!

To learn more and to purchase, please go to Blue Orange Games.

Connect with Blue Orange Games on social media: Facebook,  YouTube, Instagram,  Twitter

*I received these games in exchange for my honest opinion. 

 

***Giveaway***

Blue Orange is letting me give away my favorite game, Shaky Manor,  to one lucky winner! U.S Residents only, giveaway ends on 8/3/18.  Please enter using the giveaway rafflecopter below. Good Luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Marijean

My name is MJ. I have two wonderful children and work part time as well as volunteer at my children's school.

More Posts

Kids will have a BLAST on the GOTRAX HOVERFLY ECO Hoverboard

 

 

I was very intrigued when Hoverboards first came out. They sound so fun and were very cool to look at. My kids were still little so I knew I wasn’t going to get one right away. With my oldest now almost 10, she has been asking about Hoverboards since some of her friends have them. We were very excited to review the GOTRAX HOVERFLY ECO Hoverboard.

 

 

Safety Certified with a Powerful Glide

The HOVERFLY was constructed by our top spaceflight engineers to provide the utmost safety for every commander and citizen of the GOTRAX GALAXY. All electric, battery, and charging systems are tested and certified to UL 2272 safety standards for self-balancing electric scooters hoverboards. For additional protection, we added non-slip foot platforms, and system safety features including Auto Shutdown.

Few hoverboards can boast the power and seamlessness provided by the GOTRAX HOVERFLY. The dual 250W motors combined with the space-age gyroscopic self-balancing electric scooter technology create a smooth and controlled hoverboard riding experience.

UL CERTIFICATION INFO

The GOTRAX HOVERFLY self-balancing scooter is tested and certified to UL 2272 safety standards for e-Mobility devices. This certification means that electrical, battery, and charger systems have been thoroughly tested and certified for safety. To learn more about UL safety standards, please visit http://www.ul.com/hoverboards/.

GALACTIC HOVERBOARD FEATURES & SPECS

 

When you receive your Hoverboard, it will come in a really fun designed box my daughter loved. The hoverboard will be inside,  a charger, protective bumpers, commander’s manual, and the quick launch galaxy guide. The overboard weighs about 23 lbs. The hoverboard comes in 7 colors. I decided to get the Neptune Blue which to me is just like a really pretty “baby blue.”

The hoverboard came fully charged, which was a plus since my kids wanted to try it out right away! We read over the quick launch galaxy guide and put the hoverboard into training mode. We have a very large downstairs living area, so she tried it on the carpet first incase she fell. Make sure your child has a helmet, knee and elbow pads when they are using the hoverboard. It does take a bit to balance on it when you first try it out. I held her hand until she figured how to balance properly. It only took her an hour or so to learn how to balance and ride herself. We have had it a week now and she uses it every day! It is super easy for kids and adults to use.

The minimum weight limit is 44 pounds and the max is 220 pounds. Perfect for children and adults to have fun. I know my husband loves it!

Before I decided to review this product, I did some research to make sure this hoverboard didn’t have any fire or safety issues. All of the electrical, battery, and charger systems are tested and certified to UL 2272 safety standard guides. 

This would make an out of this world birthday gift or holiday gift for any child or adult! The GOTRAX HOVERFLY is on sale right now for $179.00.

 

You can purchase this awesome Hoverboard from GOTRAX or Amazon.

PRIME DAY is coming up on 7/16! Use the code 15mommyworks for 15% off all gotrax electronic rideables until July 21st! https://www.amazon.com/gp/mpc/A3TSWC0WN5AMIL

*I received a product in exchange for this review. All opinions are my own. 

Marijean

My name is MJ. I have two wonderful children and work part time as well as volunteer at my children's school.

More Posts

Treylor Park Restaurant opening in Nocatee (Ponte Vedra) on July 7th!

 

*Article from Jacksonville.com

The Savannah-based restaurant, Treylor Park, announced a July 7 opening for their Nocatee location.

Guests can indulge in unique items such as PB&J Chicken Wings and Chicken and Pancake Tacos, as well as Shrimp and Grits Tacos, Crab Cake Sliders, and a selection of burgers, sandwiches and salads.

The restaurant also offers cocktails such as Treylor Park, made with Aperol, Prosecco, club soda, orange juice and Fernet-Branca, and the Peach Pit, made with peach bourbon, lemon juice and peach cider. There will also be an assortment of wine and beer including cans, bottles and drafts.

Owner Trey Wilder opened Treylor Park in October 2014 in Savannah and it has since been featured on “Food Paradise” on the Travel Channel.

The restaurant is located in the Nocatee Town Center at 158 Marketside Ave. in Ponte Vedra Beach.

The 3,200-square-foot location boasts 150 indoor seats and a 900-square-foot patio.

The hours of operation are Monday – Thursday from 11 a.m. to midnight, Friday from 11 a.m. to 1 a.m., Saturday from 10 a.m. to 1 a.m. and Sunday from 10 a.m. to midnight.

The kitchen is open daily until midnight.

http://www.treylorpark.com

Marijean

My name is MJ. I have two wonderful children and work part time as well as volunteer at my children's school.

More Posts