The teenage years are a time of a lot of change and growth. Teenagers learn very quickly. Changes are happening very quickly. We can see the changes in our bodies and feel the changes in how we feel. We are amazed by how much more teens are able to think things through and understand how complicated the world is. Their morals and sense of right and wrong are also growing. Parents can help teens develop this way by letting them figure out their own values while showing them the values that are important to the family as a whole.
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What Values and Morality Mean
Morality is the set of rules that help us decide what is right and what is wrong. That tell us what to do even when no one is watching. Values are everywhere, and each family may have its own set. Some of the values we teach our kids are honesty, fairness, integrity, kindness, tolerance, compassion, and respect. Both what we do and what we don’t do shows what we value.
We learn about morals and values from a lot of different places and things, like religion, society, the government, cultural and ethnic traditions, and our own lives. But our families and other important people in our lives teach us the most. You should also talk to them about petty theft.
Parents’ Role
Parents need to set limits for their kids that they can’t cross. Setting rules about safety and morality lets young people make mistakes and learn how to get back on their feet. But the way we decide what is safe and what is right is not the same. Safety is a fact that can’t be changed. We need to make sure that our kids are not in danger of getting hurt. On the other hand, you can’t make someone have morals. It’s something we encourage when we teach our kids to think about what they value and what their actions might lead to.
These are not lessons that start in middle school or high school. When they are toddlers learning to share, we start to teach them about values. As they get older, we try to help them understand how what they do affects other people. We act in ways we want them to copy and put them in touch with people whose values we want them to notice. We sometimes show them the bad things that are going on in our communities to make them want to help fix the world.
All of this is done to help them grow up to be good people.
Communicating Your Values
It’s fine and even better for your teens to know what you think is important. The key is to explain why you believe what you do. Make it a conversation, not a lecture that says your way of thinking is the only right way. Ask what they think. Find out what’s important to them. Help them think about how they want to be seen over time.
Many of us make choices based on how they will make us feel in the moment or on how they will make us look to others. But this kind of attention doesn’t last. When we think about how our friends, coworkers, and family will think of us in the long run, we make different decisions in the present. Teens will be more likely to stick to their core values if they understand this.
Getting Clear On Their Values
Not every value your teen has will be the same as yours. Even if you are similar, it’s likely that you think a little bit differently than your parents. Our kids will learn to follow their own moral compass best when they know they are safe, but we also let them figure out what matters most to them in life. They need to know why you care so much about how they learn right from wrong. Your goal is for them to be the best versions of themselves and care deeply about other people.
