If you are a working mom – or are about to become one – there are many different dilemmas you are likely to be facing right now. And you are in excellent company! The vast majority of working moms are all thinking the same things. I thought I would pull together some of the biggest issues and dilemmas that we all have to endure – and perhaps point you in the right direction for some solutions. Let’s get started with the most obvious.
The guilt
The guilt of the working mom can be overwhelming at times. And the reality is that unless you are – or have been – a working mom yourself, it can be hard to put into words. The guilt can strike at any moment. When you are getting ready for work and see your little one’s eyes watching you brush your hair. When you have to miss their first milestone because you are stuck in a meeting. When you don’t get home in time to give them a kiss goodnight. It hurts – all of it. But you aren’t a bad mom because you work – you work because there is no choice. You are providing for your little one, and being the best mom you can be when you get home. And, you are helping to create a stable and positive future for your children – as well as being a great role model.
The worry
There’s a lot of worry to go along with that heavy dose of guilt, too. Every second you spend at work, your child will be under the care and attention of someone else – maybe someone you don’t know all that well. What is your baby doing right now, and who are they with? Are they safe? Are they forming a stronger attachment to their carer than they have with you? You know this is a ridiculous thing to think, but you do it anyway. There is no easy solution to this worry – you will have it for the rest of your life, no matter how old your children are. All you can do is choose the very best baby or toddler daycare facility you can, keep in touch with their progress, and ensure they are enjoying their time. See them off each day with lots of love, and pick them up on the way home with even more.
The perfection ideal
You know you have to be the best at your job while being the best mom on the planet. And you hold yourself to account to the highest possible standards. But while you are seeking to be perfect, it’s an impossible ideal. You are going to make mistakes – at home and work. And you will experience criticism from other people – perhaps even family and friends – which will sting. But you can’t afford to beat yourself up about them too much – or they will start to affect you even more. It’s important to understand that other people’s opinions or your mistakes are not a sign that you are a failure as a parent. Everyone is different, and everyone makes mistakes in life. It’s how you bounce back and learn from those errors that will make the difference.
OK, so there you have it – three of my worst dilemmas as a working mom – how about yours?
